Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize