I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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