I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
