Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
