I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
