I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
