it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
