oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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