When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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