omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
