he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
