brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
