Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
