found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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