Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
