So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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