You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
