I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize