gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
