I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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