Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
