I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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