If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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