If that was your dad, he is hot
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
