Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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