i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
