no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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