you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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