Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
