I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
