There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
