the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
