White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
