So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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