on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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