we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
