whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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