i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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