I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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