maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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