After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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