I think I died a long time ago.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
