I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
