He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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