He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
