dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
