And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
