I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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