No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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