didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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