Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
