plz talk dirty to me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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