I wanna passion pit in your ass
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
